True Love

Do you remember when was the last time you had a crush on someone? It's been so long since I fell hard for someone. And I'm not talking about just thinking someone is really cute but I mean, you see that person for who s/he is and just instantly feel weak in the knees.

My last time was this guy, who, of course, I won't say who but I fell for him HARD. Gosh, I can still remember that very second I felt something for him. I had a dream that he confessed his love for me and then we kissed (ok, that was like the short version of it). Then I woke up and I was like, oh my god, I think I love _____. It was such an incredible, powerful feeling I've ever had for someone. You start looking and thinking about them differently. That person became your world and you wanted so badly to be a part of theirs. Needless to say, he never reciprocated but it was an intense 3 years of my life. Ever since then, I haven't had a strong feeling about anyone else. I've liked guys since, but those feelings haven't been the same. They were just like, ok, I think I like them sorta thing.

What I am trying to get at is, finding a physical, mental and spiritual connection with someone who will reciprocate can be impossible. I don't know if I'm ever going to find anyone like that. Don't get me wrong, the physical part is superficial that we can look beyond that. But how do you find someone who gets you, who knows what you are thinking without having to say it out loud? I guess I will just have to keep on looking.